RIP

I will never understand how a person can throw their entire life away because another person told them to. What happened to the days of using your own brain, forming your own thoughts, and making your own decisions? How quickly people fall "in love" just so they don't have to lay by themselves at night.

I am mourning the loss of a once very dear friend of over six years... I'm struggling with it because I never saw it coming. I feel like there's been a death in my life, but I guess that makes sense; the death of a very important relationship. He was someone I could always call if I needed him. I've called him in utter despare in the middle of the night and he came right over and got me out of my house. We drove around for hours, just to make me feel better. I've needed him, depended on him, and counted on him. He was the one constant in my life.

The part that really hurts is that on several counts, the tables have been turned. I've chosen him and stuck up for our friendship numerous times. I have only once let a man tell me who I can and cannot speak to or hang out with. Guess what? I was 16 and thought I was in love. There is no one on this earth that could tell me who I can and cannot have in my life. If someone wants to control you- it's not love. If they cannot trust you or your judgement, then there is something very wrong there. It's not okay for people to do that, and it's REALLY not okay to let them.

It's just so hard to wrap my head around. I feel like I've been in love before, but if that is what love is then I want no part of it. Love should not shun a friendship just because someone feels threatened. I know love, and love woudn't do that. I know jealousy exists, I've been victim to it myself. This girl has never even met me. She knows nothing about me, who I am, or what I'm about. I feel like if she could see us interact, she would know that it's okay. I love him dearly and want nothing but the best for him, and by what limited experiences I've had with her- like her answering his phone when I call and telling me to "stop calling her boyfriend" or trying to take him away from me- she's not right for him. He's an outgoing flirty guy and if she can't handle me being his friend... He's going to be miserable.

I'm worried about him because I'll never be there to catch him when he falls again. This is the end of our friendship and I am mourning.