Reboot, reload.

I discovered that I am shy again. I'm starting to realize that when my life fell apart 2 years ago that it was actually like someone wiped my hard drive. When all of it went down I would show up an hour early for work because I couldn't remember what time I used to leave to get there on time. I couldn't figure it out in my head if it took me x amount of minutes to get there, then I would need to leave at whatever time. I couldn't remember what I liked to eat, or when I was suposed to eat it. It's really freaking me out that I am just now realizing this.

On one hand, I'm really not excited about having to work through all of this again because it's a lot of work, but on the other hand- I get to start almost from scratch again. It's not my fault that it happened to me all at once; I can't go back in time and change it. Why not embrace the opportunity to reinvent myself and do better this time than before?

Here's to optomism!

I'm going to try this...

A little about me:
I'm a 23 year old female.
I'm not going to tell my friends about this blog.
No one knows I go by J.A. Remus except for me.
I want to try my hand at writing again.
I'm currently going to cosmetology school which is a dream come true. I worked so hard to get there, it amazes me every single day I get to walk in and learn. It puts me in a very vulnerable state because I have an issue with perfectionism.
I go to therapy because I have a hard time dealing with my emotions and my past.
I feel like I have lost my ability to feel and experience new things because of my fear of getting hurt again.

So that's why I'm anonymously writing. I can't stand to be judged.

I'm not sure what will end up in here. I have a lot of things going on. I'm working on my self esteem, I'm traveling this summer, I have major relationship issues, I have a problem with bluntness, and I can be dramatic.

We shall see!